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Sometimes I Feel Good (Improv No. 17)

by Mad Gleams

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1.
these bulbs hum in this dark room only things keeping my view from total darkness from total darkness I thought things would become clear or else fade from view and now here I am laying in the dark with you this won't get easier with age this won't fade this won't get easier with age this won't fade takin' stock again of all I've lost easy to calculate when you never had much to begin with that you did not hate everything take everything take everything take everything and burn it and burn it and nurture that tiny flame and don't ever give it away don't ever give it away don't give it a name don't give it a name
2.
I've been taking walks every morning down the same street and I've been trying to memorize all the little things that I see then around noon I like to do it all again and I say this is where I live this is where I live this is where I live this is where I live and I been eating steel cut oats and ezekiel bread and drinking coffee and listening to music to it and I drink water with tiny bubbles and I don't feel like makin' trouble anymore and I say this is where we live this is where we live this is where we live this is where we live and at night maybe we'll talk about all the things that we think we can do I love talkin' with you I love talkin' with you this is how this is how we live this is how we live this is how we live this is how we live this is how we live this is how we live yeah, this is how I live now this is how I live now this is how I live now this is how I live right now
3.
Into A Robot 02:47
don't talk to me when I'm still gettin' up the nerve to speak don't talk to me I know we like to pretend that we know what we're doin' and I know we all like to act like we're used to all our new tools yeah we're right on the bleeding edge and falling I don't want to be concerned that I am being turned into a robot I don't want to be concerned that I am being turned into a robot into a robot into a robot
4.
Mad 05:45
I'm tired of bein' sad... I'm tired of bein' mad it hurts hurts me bad I'm tired of bein' mad I know it hurts hurts you bad when the head is filled with flames it's hard to steady your aim and we find once again and we find once again you shot your best friend I'm tired of being afraid it's with me every single hour of every day when the head is filled with wolves you don't know how to have a conversation and you find once again and you find and you find and you find once again you shot your best friend just the like the former vice president I'm unloading my gun I wanna protect myself but I don't want to kill no one so I'm putting down the gun ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
5.
cold rain in November and a brain that remembers that night all too well that night I put you through hell this is the big opening something flowing out of me up there for all to see some people didn't like what they saw and others were in awe wish that I’d been in the former group I wish that I had a clear view this is the big opening life blood flowin' out of me up there on the screen did you like your pizza? did you like your pizza? come again come again bring your friends bring your friends but don't stick around don't stick around too long you might see how the story ends well how does it end? that was the night I started to know that I was out of control that was the night I started to know something inside was out of control out of control
6.
Mess 01:12
if that's what you wanted to say well why didn't you say it if that's what you wanted to do well why isn't that what you did you can't go around saying whatever you want and expect the rest of us to clean it up I'm tired of this mess I'm tired
7.
Reality 04:11
I tried to pass off not learning my lesson as some artful introspection and though I know I am in good company I don't want them standing next to me sometimes I do stupid things because I do not realize the things I'm so scared of well they're all I've got to keep reality at bay so I can keep tryin' to live this way keep reality at bay so I can try'n keep livin' this way (whistle) I tried to pretend that I was healed just because it's hard to deal with 10,000 tons of shit you're tryin' to pivot off of your back I was a fool I was a fool I was a fool I was a fool
8.
I saw a dead squirrel in the street must have fallen fifty feet and that squirrel he was lookin' right at me dead squirrel dead squirrel dead squirrel I stepped into that little house almost mistook a grown man for a mouse and I shook an empty hand and watched him sit back down dead squirrel dead squirrel a life confined to a chair thinning blood and hair tryin' to survive without bein' alive oh oh dead squirrel dead squirrel dead squirrel was the center was the center was the center was the center dead squirrel was the center was the center of a whole world a whole world a whole little world little squirrel world I saw a dead squirrel in the street must have fallen fifty feet he looked like a cartoon badly drawn deflated balloon dead squirrel
9.
Letting Go 05:39
is it generally frowned upon to buy a fifth and drink it down before signing on to a skype funeral I'm tryin' to get a message through I'm tryin' to get a message through to the other side (whistling) after someone dies they become whatever you like and I don't like it no I don't like it (whistling) the hardest thing to let go of is the thing you most hate but can't help loving so I'm tryin' to get a message through oh I'm tryin' to get a message through to the other side to the other side
10.
Thanksgiving 06:04
serving poison starters at thanksgiving this is how I try to give even with those I most despise I don't believe you I don't believe you I don't believe you should I? staging a big fight while everyone is eating pie this is how I like to spend to my time I don’t believe you I don't believe you I don't believe you should I? should I? family family someone to share misery with my family wrapping severed heads for gifts on Christmas and lights on the house that spell it out I don't believe you I don't believe you I don't believe you should I? should I? should I?

about

I would like to tell you about how I made this album:

This album was recorded from November 24th to November 30th, 2020 on a cassette 8-track, filling three tapes. Everything on those tapes is on the album in the order it was recorded.

I wrote the songs as I was performing them. When I got stuck I would start over or punch in where I gave up. All overdubs were done in as few takes as possible.

I call it an "improv album."

I hope it can be of use to you.

credits

released December 18, 2020

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Mad Gleams Chicago, Illinois

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